Dude, I'm An Aspie.

Thoughts and illustrations on living on the autism spectrum.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Peripheral




 

Posted by Matt at 11:02 AM
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13 comments:

  1. StimeyMarch 27, 2011 at 11:37 AM

    Now I'm sad.

    But there's a lot of truth here.

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  2. AnonymousMarch 27, 2011 at 11:46 AM

    matt, i'm curious, does this make you sad too or is it not a big deal? i haven't 100% bought into the idea that social relationships with other people are necessarily better than other types of relationships, say with animals or things. different yes, but better? not sure. what do you think?

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  3. Nicholas GMarch 27, 2011 at 11:49 AM

    Yes, some of us really have no one understanding to spill our guts to. In the physical world, family give me lip-service and true friends are very few and far between. I, and so many others, work life without a net.

    From Liane Holliday Willey’s book Pretending to be Normal:
    “My deep, dark fear, the one that makes my bones scream, is that there are AS people in search of friendships who will never find any, no matter what they do, solely because of their AS. ... I know the reality that will wound them as they stumble forward, deeply lonely, and ever more estranged from others.”

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  4. Landon BryceMarch 27, 2011 at 12:17 PM

    If you see "Dude I'm an Aspie" as a "thing", then I think a support system composed largely out of things and places could be quite sustaining. So many of the things we are told we find by "Looking right in front of us" are so overwhelming to me I can see then only by turning my head away and squinting. Love this one.

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  5. MattMarch 27, 2011 at 12:32 PM

    Hello, all - sorry for bringing any sadness this morning, but the truth is not always pretty. This post goes along with my recent one "Hello In There."

    It's really looking at one of the great dilemmas of the autism spectrum: What is "support?" "Support" may be offered by friends and loved ones, and "support" may be desired by the autistic person, but perhaps the two don't meet in the middle. What's the answer? I don't know, I'm just asking the question.

    cityapril - yes, it's a big deal. I think at a certain point, even those who feel their needs can be met by animals and things, need people for something.

    Niko - great quote, very relevant here.

    Landon - interesting take, there is certainly a supportive quality to this little community here. But it's not a substitute for people. And I like to think I was channeling OWL a bit with this post - think so?

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  6. Landon BryceMarch 27, 2011 at 12:45 PM

    LOL-- Yes-- I almost mentioned OWL myself, but wasn't sure you'd see why. I think for me it's a matter of both reaching out to people and accepting that I will never get all that I need from them. So my art, my cats, my writing-- these obsessions ground me in a way that people who relate more easily to others don't need.

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  7. IlyMarch 27, 2011 at 7:50 PM

    I like this a lot. While I have a few individuals who support me, I wouldn't say I have anything approaching a network. I feel like for a brief time in the past, I did have a network, and so now I really know what I'm missing. Another obstacle is having depression, which I know that I share with so many people on the spectrum. I don't want to "be a downer" or be known as the person who is always saying depressing things. It can be hard to navigate the line between being closed-off and over-sharing too, sometimes. As a kid, I had barely any support, so I'm able to adapt around not having it. But that's not an ideal situation for me. You're right, it can be a big dilemma and I haven't found any easy answers.

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  8. MattMarch 27, 2011 at 8:00 PM

    Ily, you're right, mental health is most certainly a contributing factor, and there are many who feel just as you describe. Thanks for sharing.

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  9. The Fat AspieMarch 28, 2011 at 11:57 PM

    nothing to say but "OH YES" to all of you! Thanks for another great post, Matt!

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  10. MattMarch 29, 2011 at 6:38 PM

    Thank you, TFA!

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  11. Jaime BlascoMarch 30, 2011 at 3:36 PM

    I just discover your blog and the posts are amazing!! so... I follow you!!

    You can see my blog and follow me If you like it here:

    http://dreamonmode.com

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  12. NoraMay 7, 2011 at 1:30 AM

    GREAT stuff any chance I could be allowed to print it up for my Aspie group? I'm just and Aspie with an aspie group. no money changes hands just some hugs for those who like em and a lot of good feelings and heavy conversation once a fortnight (that's every two weeks for all you Americans)

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  13. MattMay 7, 2011 at 10:07 AM

    Yes, newnoz, please feel free to share with your group.

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